Pease Pottage Village F.C. are believed to be banned from the transfer market for two windows as a result of transfer irregularities. The harsh ban has been imposed by FIFA and seems to have come as a result of a match between Pease Pottage Village and local rivals Ifield Edwards, known as The Villagers. Edward Ifield, an Ifield Edwards utility man, who is a plumber, was apparently tapped up by Pease Pottage Village. Pease Pottage Village’s chairman explained “There is terrible confusion here. Over a quiet pint, I merely asked young Edward whether he could change our cold water tap in the ensuite bathroom as it often drips”. FIFA officials were not available for comment, but there is concern that star names at Pease Pottage may leave if the ban goes ahead.