Europa League experiment to be expanded
FIFA has declared the deployment of two extra officials by the goals in the Europa League to be a success. The fact that they made some bad decisions can be ignored on the grounds that the officials were in the right place to make the wrong decisions. News has been leaked to FootballCynic HQ that the experiment is to be expanded such that 20 more officials will be used at each game in a new trial. According to the leaked document, the FIFA experiment will use the extra 20 officials as follows:
+ One official at each corner flag to ensure corners are taken correctly
+ One official to be directly underneath each penalty spot for a worm's eye view of penalty box action. This will require all clubs to build an underground tunnel system. It is thought that the keeper of the moles at London Zoo is being used as a consultant.
+ Eight officials to be suspended on wires 50 feet above the pitch which will run from each corner of the pitch. The officials will be equally spaced to give maximum coverage. A new law will be passed wish will mean that the ball must not be kicked higher than 50 feet in the air.
+ Two officials at each end of the pitch in chairs 50 feet high so that they can officiate on whether the ball passes above the 50 feet high wires
+ Four officials will be placed on a rail track which will have to be added along each side of the pitch. The small train will automatically follow the flight of the ball as the ball will have a sensor controlling each train. Assistant referees will be renamed as linesmen, while those in trains will be called linesmen linesmen.
It is thought that the package of measures will ensure that football is not taken over by technology. The tests will start in January.
+ One official at each corner flag to ensure corners are taken correctly
+ One official to be directly underneath each penalty spot for a worm's eye view of penalty box action. This will require all clubs to build an underground tunnel system. It is thought that the keeper of the moles at London Zoo is being used as a consultant.
+ Eight officials to be suspended on wires 50 feet above the pitch which will run from each corner of the pitch. The officials will be equally spaced to give maximum coverage. A new law will be passed wish will mean that the ball must not be kicked higher than 50 feet in the air.
+ Two officials at each end of the pitch in chairs 50 feet high so that they can officiate on whether the ball passes above the 50 feet high wires
+ Four officials will be placed on a rail track which will have to be added along each side of the pitch. The small train will automatically follow the flight of the ball as the ball will have a sensor controlling each train. Assistant referees will be renamed as linesmen, while those in trains will be called linesmen linesmen.
It is thought that the package of measures will ensure that football is not taken over by technology. The tests will start in January.
Very droll, Foortball Cynic. Of course, the whole thing would break down on health & safety grounds. A rail track running alongside the pitch would be highly dangerous for rioting fans. Also Stoke's Delap would have problems taking his throws. No, sorry this is too proposterous - I just wish I could remember the collecive noun for referees - is it a whistle of referees? (FoortballCynic writes: Delap's throws could become more interesting if taken on a moving train. Of course, Pulis would keep Stoke on track and make sure it gives them the platform for greater things.)
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Id say that a group of refs would be a gaggle or a cardwaving of refs. I have searched the archives and there is no mention of the mighty Tranmere Rovers anywhere on the site. Why is that? (FootballCynic writes: The group of referees in the picture do look like a gaggle though they do not look ready for card-waving. To correct you, Mr/Ms A mere Tranmere fan, Tranmere Rovers appeared in this thread... http://footballcynic.com/2009/03/01/ever-met-an-everton-fan.aspx)
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