Football Terms For Beginners
Students at the University of FootballCynic have been working hard this week and spending their time in a fruitful way. They have produced a list of football terms to help non-football experts to understand more about the World Cup when it starts in June. So, over to our educated ones at the University of FootballCynic.....
Game of two halves – A game that is not abandoned
He finished in style – International star wearing expensive clothes in a night club at 4am
Wide man – outside right or outside left
Wide boy – football agent
Impact sub – an underwater vessel that crashes
Running down the clock – Time wasting
Then it all kicked off – Friday night in a rough pub
Terry’s All Gold – Modern day Midas who turns part of his anatomy to gold after touching a bridge
Toll bridge – If John Terry had had to pay for it
Aerial advantage – The most powerful and most expensive SatNav system used by highest paid pros
He’s lost the dressing room – A regularly sacked manager forgets which club he is managing after a drunken night
Hospital ball – Very light ball used in a geriatric word for a 5-a-side game
He’ll be disappointed with that – Leading striker clears the stand
Box to box player – Runs all over the pitch but never touches the ball
Setting out their stall – Team of greengrocers who play football
He’s got two feet – Pretty much any footballer
A good time to score – Somewhere between the 1st and 90th minute
He couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo – An overpaid foreign striker
Getting a result – Winning, drawing or losing
Taking it one game at a time – Any game of football – ever tried playing two games at a time?
He gives 110% every time – Manager discussing headless chicken
Game of two halves – A game that is not abandoned
He finished in style – International star wearing expensive clothes in a night club at 4am
Wide man – outside right or outside left
Wide boy – football agent
Impact sub – an underwater vessel that crashes
Running down the clock – Time wasting
Then it all kicked off – Friday night in a rough pub
Terry’s All Gold – Modern day Midas who turns part of his anatomy to gold after touching a bridge
Toll bridge – If John Terry had had to pay for it
Aerial advantage – The most powerful and most expensive SatNav system used by highest paid pros
He’s lost the dressing room – A regularly sacked manager forgets which club he is managing after a drunken night
Hospital ball – Very light ball used in a geriatric word for a 5-a-side game
He’ll be disappointed with that – Leading striker clears the stand
Box to box player – Runs all over the pitch but never touches the ball
Setting out their stall – Team of greengrocers who play football
He’s got two feet – Pretty much any footballer
A good time to score – Somewhere between the 1st and 90th minute
He couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo – An overpaid foreign striker
Getting a result – Winning, drawing or losing
Taking it one game at a time – Any game of football – ever tried playing two games at a time?
He gives 110% every time – Manager discussing headless chicken
Toll bridge n hospital ball had me falling off my chair. There must be a humpback bridge joke somewhere in there! (FootballCynic writes: Take care not to fall off your chair, Danielle. You don't want the legs taken from under you or to slip down the table)
Reply to this
I feel as though I am being picky here, Mr FC. Our Wayne's (we are talking Mr Bridge here not Master Rooney) Vanessa was never Mrs Bridge. She always remained Miss Personnel (or something similar), which presumably explains why she provided human resources to our erstwhile national leader. So, this means the Midas thing of touching a bridge means something far more worrying. Or, do you know more than you are letting on to, Mr FC? Time to adjust my SatNav, I feel - the aerial advantage one had Lady Knobhead sniggering over the jam she was making. (FootballCynic writes: You are, of course, quite right, Lord Knobhead. However, FootballCynic has recently been accused of bullying the staff at FootballCynic HQ, so he will not discipline the researcher who made this error in the usual way.)
Reply to this
Provided human resources.....LOL! I wonder if Vanessa is trying to get a whole back four. Rio next? Then Gary Neville - no, OK that is going too far.
How was the jam? (FootballCynic writes: Maybe, it's any man in a blue shirt? Now, where is David Mellor these days?)
Reply to this
Really the Terry story has been done to death in the papers and on TV. Isnt it time that we worried about England winning the world cup and got off his back. He is a top class player that we want to be in top class form when Africa comes. Only a thought. (FootballCynic writes: We've been looking for a straight man at FootballCynic HQ for some time. Please send in your CV immediately. Only a thought)
Reply to this
Flat back four - Tire troubles on the team coach
End to end stuff - A dodgy pie
Safe hands - Given to players who havent been convicted of physical abuse
Sixes & Sevens - John Terry's poker hand
Give & go - John Terry's bedroom antics
One Two - John Terry's maths ability
Play on the break - In ye days of ole, thy would play with thy leg broken. (FootballCynic writes: Tire troubles, indeed. Did you read the sign 'Americans only welcome if they know the game is football not soccer'?)
Reply to this