A week before the World Cup finals, some local kids asked FootballCynic to make a giant England flag. FootballCynic is not a handy man, but being public spirited, he disappeared into his shed to please the enthusiastic youngsters. Four old broom handles were joined end to end and a white sheet was glued to the end. Some old red paint was not quite the right colour for the Cross of St George, but it didn't matter.

The kids loved it and local spirits were raised as the neighbourhood looked at the big flag and dreamed of a World Cup Final win over Brazil. Sadly, as we all know it went wrong. At 4.45 (or, in truth, about 30 minutes before that), the flag looked somewhat sad as it fluttered away. No longer did it look homely; it now looked a shoddily made flag made with four old broom handles. FootballCynic could stand it no more at 4.46 on Sunday. An old saw was found deep inside the shed, it had been unused for years. Its teeth glistened in the sun and went through the old broom handles with ease. Some 10 year old paraffin was flicked on to the sheet. A single match destroyed the sheet with its red cross in seconds; the 'Made in China' label and 'Not fire retardant' sticker disappearing all too quickly. And so, FootballCynic could forget about England's team for another four years and get back to more serious matters like life at Pease Pottage Village.