There may be 22 players on a pitch at any one time, but the most important 22 people in the world will soon put us out of our misery and decide where the 2018 and 2022 World Cups will be staged.

Rotten eggs, Amos Adamu and Reynald Temarii, have been suspended for three years and one year respectively and so it is the remaining 22 good men, who will decide the fate of England’s bid. Of course, the rest of the officialdom on Planet FIFA are hardly whiter than whiter – four other non-voting officials have been suspended and CONCAAF representative, Jack Warner, wields an unhealthy amount of power in the football heartland of Trinidad & Tobago.

Jack Warner, who, of course, used to appear in Dixon of Dock Green, controls CONCAAF as the minor islands give him the power he needs to keep USA and Mexico’s wishes out of any plans. Jack seems to willing to give you his bank account details, especially, some say, if the proceeds of football matches in Scotland have nowhere to go.

The voting FIFA officials rather than being delighted to meet top politicians and royalty are merely awaiting the email that invites them to a rather nice lunch with the likes of David Cameron, Prince William and Prince Becks.

Of course, the surprise expressed that the whole system is open to corruption is funniest part of it all. Of course, deals will be struck and it’s plain as a pikestaff that being elected a voting FIFA official is even better for your career prospects than winning X Factor. Perhaps, Amos and Reynald can have a sing off to increase our entertainment.

FootballCynic has been asked to replace Messrs Adamu and Temarii in order to restore the 24 voting members. Sepp (we are on first name terms) called and made the request personally. FootballCynic rapidly checked his diary and is pleased to inform the world that he is able to accept an invitation to stay in Qatar’s only seven star hotel for a few nights before heading to Zurich for a lunch at a rather posh restaurant.

And the outcome of this vote? Surely, it can’t be Belgium and Holland’s joint bid. FootballCynic’s money is on Russia because their money is probably in the right places. Evening all.