It wasn’t so long ago that football games used to kick off at 7.30 p.m – or, even, 7 p.m. Nowadays, the norm is 7.45 p.m. and most football fans are secretly wondering why the 21st century has meant that there is a need for an extra 15 minutes. It could be that the football fan is no longer a working man in his cloth cap leaving the factory at 4.30 p.m. for a few beers before the 7.30 kick off. Nowadays, the average is a city slicker, who needs that extra 15 minutes to complete his telecon and to have time to think outside the box (and we’re not talking penalty areas here) in win-win situations.

Of course, once a game is played at the weekend, kick offs become random. 12.20 p.m. would not be a surprising time to start a game especially if the two teams are from the same area and police statisticians have calculated that kicking off 10 minutes before the half hour reduces alcohol intake sufficiently to make policing a stroll in the park. There again, a kick off at 5.50 p.m. on a Saturday evening means that it’s all a tight squeeze to get changed from the replica shirt to a shirt with a collar for a nice curry in the local Indian with the missus. And, of course, in the interests of sexual equality, FootballCynic respects the fact that young Sian needs time to pack her flag away and get on her dancing gear for the local nightspot in good time.

The FootballCynic Statistical Centre has calculated that customer satisfaction will be maximised by setting Saturday kick offs at 2.48 p.m., Sunday kick offs at 3.19 p.m. and evening games at 7.38 p.m.