Fair (oh) enough
The FIFA rankings are a wonderful invention. No one understands how they work. They are a bit like the Duckworth-Lewis formula in cricket, which was apparently worked out in a pub on the back of a cigarette packet. For the FIFA rankings, there is a kind of understanding that results for the last four years are included, but the weight placed on each game and the importance of more recent results are used for a formula that only the programmer at FIFA's IT HQ knows.
Somehow, England’s position has risen to fourth place in the world rankings. It’s hard to imagine how draws against Ghana and Switzerland have helped England reach this lofty position, but we should enjoy the glory while it lasts.
But, now the formula has been exposed and by none less than the wily Faroese. They have cunningly worked out that they should now be seeded above Wales in the next World Cup draw. FIFA originally claimed that Wales and Faroe Islands had the same ranking, but the Faroese have contended that when you go down to decimal places, they are ahead of Wales. FIFA don't know how the Faroese worked it out, but they appear to be right. Now, FIFA don’t know what to do. And, Wales are just plain embarrassed. Presumably, a few quid could sort this one out for the Welsh.
Below, a major city on the Faroe Islands.
Somehow, England’s position has risen to fourth place in the world rankings. It’s hard to imagine how draws against Ghana and Switzerland have helped England reach this lofty position, but we should enjoy the glory while it lasts.
But, now the formula has been exposed and by none less than the wily Faroese. They have cunningly worked out that they should now be seeded above Wales in the next World Cup draw. FIFA originally claimed that Wales and Faroe Islands had the same ranking, but the Faroese have contended that when you go down to decimal places, they are ahead of Wales. FIFA don't know how the Faroese worked it out, but they appear to be right. Now, FIFA don’t know what to do. And, Wales are just plain embarrassed. Presumably, a few quid could sort this one out for the Welsh.
Below, a major city on the Faroe Islands.
Strangely, Lady Knobhead brought me some Welsh rarebit as I was scanning your columns this morning. She was surprised as anyone that the Faroe Islands were now on parity with Wales in the FIFA rankings. "Well I never", she said after I had explained how the FIFA rankings were so important. She also spotted the picture and thought it would be a nice place to go for a weekend break. "It looks like Cornwall", she opined. This is all very well, but Lady Knobhead is making a rare visit to the internet and looking at places to go in Cornwall. This is disturbing me from absorbing your words of wisdom, Mr Cynic, as she repeatedly asks questions like "What button do I press now?", although I have to admit a week in Cornwall is generally a splendid idea.
Anyhow, enough of this, Lady Knobhead is now a computer expert as she is sweeping away the crumbs from my Welsh rarebit and suggesting that the crumbs could damage my keyboard and mouse. She has just read what I have typed and has said "Surely they won't publish this rubbish you are sending". I can only hope. (FootballCynic writes: It's good to hear that Lady Knobhead is taking a healthy interest in the rankings of Wales and the Faroe Islands. Wasn't it Jimmy Hill who described Gary Lineker as good at picking up the crumbs?)
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Lord Knobhead must be drunk as a skunk in a bunk. (FootballCynic writes: FootballCynic thinks that it is highly unlikely that his lordship is in a bunk, Stuffed Marrow)
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