Researchers at the BBC have been hard at work seeking out which club offers the best value for money in each division. They assumed that a ‘day out at football’ is covered by the cost of the cheapest ticket into the ground, a programme, a pie and a cup of tea. The winners on these criteria for each of the divisions are Blackburn Rovers (£17.50), Watford (£17.30), Rochdale (£16.20) and Rotherham United (£16.30).

Surely, this is wasted effort. There are different types of fans out there. Picture, if you will, a seriously overweight Plymouth Argyle fan, who wears the green shirt with the name of his favourite striker on his back. On the surface, his £10 match ticket offers the best value in the country, but after he has consumed four expensive pies at £2.90 each, his day out takes a big bite out of his entertainment budget. A visiting fan from Accrington Stanley, who spends £15 to get into to see his team, would be shocked as he can enjoy four pies at home matches for £6.

Another type of fan not covered here is the ‘six pints lad’ who needs to sink a few before seeing his heroes. Why did the BBC’s research not take a look round the local pubs to determine the price of an almost undrinkable but highly toxic pint of lager?

Of course, the team at the BBC could not fully complete their report as Chelsea, Fulham and Man City are yet to set the prices for their tea and pies. One would assume that a pie at Chelsea is going to be around £4 to match Arsenal’s over-pricing rather than Bolton Wanderers’ bargain offer of £3.50 for a pie and a cup of tea.

All this nonsense ignores the fact that petrol can cost as much as £1.49 per litre and train fares are carefully priced to rip you off unless you book two years in advance. As for the price of an emergency pie on a train, the BBC’s research is certainly lacking as is the cost of drowning ones sorrows after another abject performance.